Keepings Secrets
by Michelle M. Leslie


11:00 p.m. October 7

     Lauren McDermot opened the front door to her home.  Her hands were
full of packages but with some careful manuvering she managed to close and
lock the door behind her.
     "I'm home,"  she called as she walked into the living room.  "Where is
everyone?"  She carefully put the packages on a chair then took off her
coat and tossed it over the back.  "Dave?"  she called as she walked into
the kitchen feeling puzzled over the stillness of the house.  She turned on
the kitchen light as she entered, but seeing nothing out of place, she
turned it out and proceeded back to the living room.  She gathered her
packages and began climbing the stairs, slowly at first, then more quickly
as she began to feel anxious about the quiet in the house.
     The lights were on as she entered the bedroom to put down the
packages.  Out of the corner of her eye she noticed that the drawer of the
night stand was ajar.  Knowing that something was definitely wrong she
quickly turned and made her way down the hallway to her son's room.  The
door was open, the lights were on, but her son was not there.
     She turned, more frantic now, and hurried to her daughter's room.  She
stopped in the doorway and screamed.  There, lying in a pool of blood, was
her husband Dave.  But where were the children?


     "I don't understand,"  Lauren cried as she sat on the couch watching
the officers from the Crime Scene Unit search for evidence.  "Who would do
something like this?"
     "Was your husband expecting any visitors tonight Ma'am?"  Detective
Mike Logan of the 27th Precinct asked.
     "No, I don't think so,"  Lauren said, wiping the tears from her eyes.
"I needed some time to myself, you know?  He said he would stay with the
kids."
     "Have you or your husband ever received any threats?"  Logan asked.
     "Dave was a lawyer.  People always said things, but we never took any
of it seriously,"  Lauren replied.
     "Did your husband have his own practice?"  Logan inquired.
     Lauren shook her head.  "He worked with Hogan and Mills on Madison Avenue."
     Logan wrote down the name in his steno pad.  "We'll need a picture of
the children."
     Lauren walked over to the fireplace and took down a double 5x7 size
frame from the mantle.  She looked at it lovingly, then handed it to Logan.
"Gage, he's eight, and Megan just turned two.  They must be so scared,"
she added, sitting back down on the couch and crying into her hands.
     "Hey, Mike,"  Det. Briscoe called from upstairs.  Logan motioned to
officer Mackey to stay with Lauren as he proceeded upstairs.


      Upstairs the coroner was preparing to remove Dave McDermot's body
from the girl's bedroom.
     "What'd ya got?"  Logan asked.
     "We found this in the kid's room,"  Briscoe said as he held up a
child's bloody t-shirt.  The two detectives exchanged a glance as if to say
it wasn't going to be an easy case to deal with.
     "You want to show that to her?" Logan asked, motioning downstairs.
     "No,"  answered Briscoe,  "and I don't want to tell her we found
bloody fingerprints in the bathroom either."
     "You think whoever did this took the time to clean up afterward?"
Logan asked in jest.
     "I think whoever did this, tried to cover his tracks, panicked and
then got sloppy,"  Briscoe replied, handing the shirt to Logan.  "You tell
her."
     Logan sighed.
     "Detectives, we found something here you might want to see,"  Officer
Burrell of the Crime Scene Unit called from the bathroom.  "We found these
in the trash,"  he said, holding up a plastic bag filled with bandage
wrappers.  "And this was wrapped in a towel in the laundry hamper."  He
showed them another bag that contained a large carving knife.
     "Sloppy,"  Logan said.
     "Very sloppy,"  replied Briscoe.



October 9, 10:00a.m.

     "Cause of death, three shots to the heart with a nine millimeter,"
Logan reported as he and Briscoe stood in Captain Donald Cragen's office
relaying information about the case.
     "Yeah, and it just so happens the McDermots own a nine millimeter,"  Briscoe added.
     "He was shot with his own gun?"  Cragen asked.
     "It looks that way,"  concluded Briscoe.
     "So, the shooter had to know where the gun was,"  Cragen suggested.
     "Mrs. McDermot said the gun was kept in the night stand drawer which
was always locked,"  Logan reported.
     "O.k."  Cragen began "so the shooter not only had to know where the
gun was kept, but also where to find the key to unlock the drawer."
     "Right, and how many people do you tell where you keep a locked gun in
your house?"  Briscoe said.
     "CSU lifted three set of prints from the drawer,"  Logan said as he
read from the case file.  "Dave and Lauren McDermot, fingerprinted for a
gun permit, and their son, Gage, fingerprinted at school for Ident-A-Kid."
     "And?"  Cragen asked.
     "Her alibi checks out.  She was out shopping with a friend all
evening,"  Logan replied.
     "What about this knife?"  Cragen asked.
     "Wiped clean,"  Logan added.
     "Anything on the kids?"  Cragen wondered.
     "We have sightings all over town,"  Logan began.  "East side, West
side, uptown, downtown."
     "Yeah, these kids really get around,"  added Briscoe.
     Det. Profaci knocked on the office door as he entered the room.  "St.
Luke's just called.  Someone brought in a kid matching the McDermot boy's
description."
     "I'll call the mother,"  Cragen said, picking up the phone receiver as
Logan and Briscoe hurried out of the office.

     "He's pretty banged up," a nurse said as she escorted the detectives
through the crowded ER.
     "Banged up how?"  Logan asked.
     "Multiple contusions and abrasions, burn scar on the lower back and
oh, yeah, then there's the stab wound,"  the nurse added sarcastically.
     "He was stabbed?" asked Briscoe.
     "Sliced is more like it,"  the nurse replied. "He needed twenty-six
stitches across the belly."  She pulled back the curtain of the cubicle.
Gage McDermot sat on the gurny.  His face and upper body revealed signs of
years of abuse.  "Gage, honey, this is Detective Logan and Detective
Briscoe.  They want to talk to you, o.k?"
     The boy looked from one detective to the other.  "Am I under arrest?"
he asked shyly.
     "No, of course not,"  Briscoe assured him "we just want to talk to you."
     "About what I did?"  Gage asked.
     "What did you do?"  Logan asked.
     "I killed my dad,"  Gage replied.
     The detectives exchanged a look of disbelief.
     "Gage!"  Lauren called as she entered the ER.  She ran to her son and
smothered him with hugs and kisses.  The boy, however, did not respond to
her with the same affection.  "Honey, are you o.k?  What happened?  Where's
Megan?"  She bombarded him with questions without giving him a chance to
reply, all the while petting his hair and caressing his face.
    "Mrs. McDermot, can we speak to you for a moment?"  Briscoe asked as he
gestured for her to follow him.  He walked several feet away from the
cubicle and Lauren and Logan followed.
     "Did he say anything?"  Lauren asked impatiently.  "Did he tell you
what happened?  What about Megan?  Your Captain just said..."
     "Mrs. McDermot,"  Briscoe interrupted,  "Your son just told us that he
killed your husband."
     "What?"  Lauren responded in disbelief.  "That's crazy, he's just a
little boy.  You can't possibly think...?"
    "Did your husband ever hit your son, Ma'am?"  Logan inquired.
     "No, of course not,"  Lauren answered sternly.  "How could you even
ask me such a thing?"
    "Well,"  Logan said just as sternly, "In case you haven't noticed, your
son was beaten and stabbed."
     "I don't know what you're implying, but my husband would never hurt
the children,"  Lauren insisted.
     "Well, we'd like to ask him that question, with your permission of
course,"  Logan said angrily.
     "I don't know,"  Lauren said.
     "Look, your son may be a witness to your husband's murder and your
daughter's disappearance, if we don't talk to him, we may never know what
happened to them, do you understand?"  Logan asked.
     "Maybe I should call a lawyer first"  Lauren said.
     "Fine"  Logan said.

     The interrogation room at the 27th precinct was cold as Logan began
questioning the young suspect.  "Can you tell me what happened the night
your dad was killed?"  He asked.
     "I was in my room,"  Gage began.  "He came in.  He was drunk."
     "Drunk?"  Lauren interrupted.  "This isn't right, my husband didn't drink."
     "Ma'am, please,"  Logan said, urging her to be quiet.  "What happened
when he came into your room?"
     "He was mad,"  Gage said.  "He started yelling at me.  He hit me.  He
had a knife and he said he would kill me if I didn't..."
     "This is crazy," Lauren interrupted again, more angry this time.  "I
can't listen to anymore of this.  Gage..."  she said, taking him by the
arms and turning him towards her.  "Why are you saying all these horrible
things?  You know they're not true."
     "It is true,"  Gage demanded.
     "I don't want him to answer anymore questions,"  Lauren told Logan.
"Not till our lawyer gets here."
     The door of the interrogation room opened abruptly.  "Anything my
client has said is inadmissable,"  Bob Maxwell, the McDermot's attorney
said as he walked in and put his briefcase on the table.  He snapped the
locks and opened the case then pulled out a paper and handed it to Logan.
"This is an affadavit from my client's psychiatrist.  It states that my
client has been under his care for six months.  It also states that Gage
McDermot suffers from delusions and is mentally unstable, sometimes
inflicting injury in himself or others to get attention,"  he continued.
"Any statements my client has made are the result of these delusions.  I
would like him released now so that he may be placed in the care of
professionals who can provide the care that he needs."
     "Look,"  Logan said, flinging the paper onto the table as he stood up.
"Your client may be a material witness in a homicide and a kidnapping.  If
Mrs. McDermot wants to know who killed her husband , or if she wants to
know where her daughter is, then we're going to have to talk to the boy."
     "Of course we want those answers,"  Maxwell said.  "But you'll have to
get them without the help of my client.  Now, if you don't mind, I'd like
to take him home.  Let's go Lauren, Gage."
     Lauren stood up and took Gage by the arm to lead him out of the room.
     "No!"  Gage shouted as he pulled away from her and ran to Logan for
protection.  "You got to help me,"  he cried, pulling on Logan's jacket.
             "They're going to kill me.  Don't let them take me away.  Please!"
     "Whoa, whoa, calm down kid,"  Logan said.
     "Don't listen to them,"  Gage cried.  "They're going to kill me!"
     "Gage, stop this right now,"  Lauren said as she tried unsuccessfully
to restrain her son.
     "I'll tell you everything,"  Gage continued his ranting. "Please don't
let them take me."
     "O.k., o.k."  Logan said reassuringly.  "Listen to me, no one's going
to take you anywhere, just relax."
     "You see,"  Maxwell interrupted.  "The boy's crazy."
     "You, shut up,"  Logan said, pointing his finger at Maxwell.
     "I'm not crazy!"  Gage screamed.  "Don't listen to them!"
     "Gage, honey, listen to mommy..."  Lauren tried again to restrain her
son, but he pulled away from her.
     "Don't touch me!"  he shouted and dove under the table to get away
from her then crawled out the other side.  He grabbed his backpack that was
hanging on the back of the chair, quickly unzipped it and pulled out a nine
millimeter handgun.  He pointed it at his mother, his hand shaking
uncontrollably.  "Don't touch me or I'll kill you, too."
     "Oh my God,"  Lauren said.  "Gage, what are you doing?"
     "Stay away,"  warned Gage.
     "Sweetheart, put that down."  Lauren took a step toward her son.  He
fired a shot at her, just barely missing her head.  Logan acted fast.  He
grabbed her and threw her to the floor while Briscoe and Maxwell both
ducked behind the table.  Gage stood, still pointing the gun at his mother,
ready to shoot if she made another move.
     "Kid, put down the gun,"  Logan said.  "You don't want to hurt anyone.
It's o.k."  He slowly took a step toward the boy.  "No one here's going to
hurt you.  It's o.k, just put the gun down."
     "Nobody believes me,"  Gage whined.
     "I believe you,"  Logan assured him as he took another step.  "But, I
can't help you if you don't put the gun down."
     The door to the room opened abruptly and Capt. Cragen entered to see
what the commotion was all about.  "What the hell...?"  he stopped when he
realized what was happening and Logan waved him off.
     "They're going to take me back there,"  Gage cried.  Tears were
beginning to build up in his eyes and he wiped them away.  "It's bad
there."
     "No one's going to take you anywhere,"  Logan assured him.  "You can
stay here and we'll talk.  All you have to do is put the gun down and it'll
be all over."
     "No.  It'll never be over.  Not until...You don't understand,"  Gage
rambled  "I can't do it anymore.  I can't."
     "What?"  Logan asked.  "What can't you do?"
     "I can't.  I can't,"  Gage slowly raised the gun and pointed it at his
own head.  "I can't."
     "Whoa, wait a minute,"  Logan urged not believing his eyes. "You don't
want to do that."
     "I have to,"  Gage said, tears now rolling down his cheeks.  His hand
still trembled as it held the gun against his temple.  Logan watched it
intently.  "It's the only way to make it stop."
     "Gage, listen to me,"  Logan said as he knealt in front of the boy.
"I want you to give me the gun.  Just hand it to me.  I won't let anyone
hurt you, I promise."  Gage searched Logan's face to see if he could be
trusted.  "Just give me the gun,"  he said again, reaching out slowly to
take the gun from the boy's hands.  "It's o.k."   Gage slowly lowered the
gun and carefully placed it in Logan's hands, then he put his head in his
hands and broke down crying.  Logan handed the gun to Briscoe, each one
being careful not to leave their own prints on the weapon.  Logan looked at
the boy, his heart ached for him 'what would drive a little kid to want to
kill himself?' he thought.  He  didn't know how to comfort him.  Lauren
tried to comfort her son but he sought it from Logan instead, wrapping his
arms around his neck, and for the first time he felt safe.

     "What the hell's going on here?"  Cragen demanded to know as he walked
into his office followed by Logan, Briscoe and Paul Robinette from the DA's
office.
     "The mother wanted to take him home and he freaked,"  Briscoe replied.
     "So, he pulled a gun on her?"  Robinette asked.
     "It was in his backpack,"  Logan responded.
      "Yeah, a nine milimeter,"  Briscoe added, "Just like the one that
killed his old man."
     "What are we saying here?"  Cragen questioned "That we have an eight
year old killer on our hands?"
     "I'm thinking it was self defense,"  Logan replied.
     "Where is he now?"  Robinette asked.
     "With Olivet.  The kid was hysterical,"  Logan explained.  "I mean, he
put a gun to his head.  He was going to blow his brains out."
     "The lawyer said he was unstable,"  Briscoe added.
     "Was there anything else in the backpack?  Anything that might lead us
to the girl?"  Cragen asked.
     "We found some computer disks and, get this, two thousand dollars, all
in tens and twenties,"  Briscoe reported.
     "Two thousand dollars?"  Robinette asked.  "Where does a little kid
get that kind of money?"
    "I don't know, maybe he's been saving his allowance,"  joked Briscoe.
     "What about the mother?"  Cragen inquired.
     "She still swears the father never hit the kid,"  Logan answered.
     "Well, maybe he  didn't,"  Cragen replied.
     "The mother?" Robinette asked.
     "Well, it would explain why he's terrified of her,"  Cragen responded.
     "Talk to her,"  Robinette said.

     "This is ludicrous,"  Maxwell said.  "You have the murder weapon with
Gage's fingerprints on it, he confessed to killing Dave and taking Megan.
What else do you want?"
     "An explanation would be nice,"  Logan said.
     "You want an explanation?"  Lauren asked hostily.  "All right, I'll
give you an explanation.  My son is mentally ill.  He has violent outbursts
and he likes to hurt people, not on purpose, there's just something in his
mind that makes him 'want to get you before you get him'.  Is that a good
enough explanation for you detective?"
     "That would explain why your husband was killed, but it doesn't
explain how your son got those bruises all over his body,"  Logan said
rather cooly.
     "All right.  Dave did hit him,"  Lauren finally gave in.  "When he got
out of control, just to...you saw how he was, what he did.  When he gets
like that there's no controlling him.  Sometimes it's hard to stay calm.  I
mean, what would you do if he was your son?"
     "I wouldn't beat the crap out of him,"  Logan said.
     "Where is he? Why can't I see him?"  Lauren began to cry.  "He needs
help.  Can't you see that?  Why won't you let me take him somewhere where
he can get the help?"
     "The DA wants to charge him with murder and kidnapping,"  Logan said.
     "What?"  Lauren said in disbelief.
     "Right now he's with our police psychiatrist, who's trying to find out
if he's really as crazy as you say.  As for you, you knew your husband was
abusing your son and you didn't do anything about it, that makes you just
as guilty of child abuse as he was,"  Logan said nastily, as he stood up
and walked out of the interrogation room where Cragen and Robinette were
waiting.  "This lady ought to be locked up, not the kid,"  Logan said.  "If
you ask me the guy had it coming, and so does she."
     "Mike,"  Cragen warned "You're supposed to be objective here."
     "Yeah, right,"  Logan said as he walked out of the room leaving the
other men behind.


October 11, 9:00a.m.

     "He's confused, but he's not delusional,"  Dr. Elizabeth Olivet began
as she sat in Executive Assistant District Attorney Ben Stone's office.
     "Did he kill his father or not?"  Stone asked.
     "He said he did,"  Olivet answered.
     "And do you believe him?"  Stone asked.
     "Yes.  But he doesn't think he had a choice,"  Olivet said in the
boy's defense.  "According to Gage, he tried several times to report the
abuse that was going on at home.  Nothing happened.  In his mind, the only
way to stop it was to kill the father."
     "And the little girl?"  Stone inquired.
     "He's hiding her, to protect her," Olivet answered.
     "But, if the father's dead, who does he have to protect her from?"
Robinette wondered.
     "It's clear the mother's involved somehow, to what extent I don't
know.  He doesn't trust her and he's very frightened of her,"  Olivet
replied.  "In addition the the physical abuse, I think he's been molsted as
well.  He showed all the signs.  This is what he's protecting his sister
from."
     "In your opinion, did he know what he was doing was wrong?"  Stone asked.
     "Yes,"  Olivet replied.  "He knows the difference between right and
wrong.  He felt trapped, the father was in the process of beating him when
he ran to get the gun."
     "You think it was self defense?"  Stone asked.
     "Most definitely,"  Olivet answered.  "There was something else that I
thought was a bit strange.  He mentioned something about an organization
that the McDermots were a part of.  An organization that bought and sold
children.  He wouldn't explain, talking about it made him very
uncomfortable."
     "Wasn't Dave McDermot an adoption lawyer?"  Stone asked of Robinette.
"Check into the adoption records, see if there's anything there that's
unusual."


October 15, 7:00p.m.

     "What exactly are we looking for?"  Logan asked as he shuffled through
files that had been subpoenaed from Dave McDermot's office.
     "Something that might tell us if McDermot was conducting illegal
adoptions,"  Robinette, who was seated adjacent to Logan's desk, replied.
     "Hey, Mike, did Mrs. McDermot say anything about them having any other
kids besides Gage and Megan?"  Briscoe asked as he too looked through some
files.
     "No, why?"  Logan replied.
     "Well, according to this, they adopted a four year old girl and a two year year old boy last May,"  Briscoe reported.
     "Then when are they?"  Logan asked.
     "And, in 1980 they adopted three girls, ages three, four and six.
With Gage and Megan, they should have seven children,"  Briscoe said.
     "Is there anything in there about the two kids we know they do  have?"
Robinette inquired.
     Briscoe searched through the papers.  "Here,"  he said.  "Megan Marie,
adopted on September 13, 1996.  We have a birth certificate and everything
here."  He flipped through some more files.  "Gage Michael, adopted May 5,
1991."
     "I got the same thing here,"  Logan added.  "The same couple, Sharon
and Leonard Cavanaugh, adopted 11 kids between 1980 and 1995."
     "Mike, you know anyone named Shannon O'Brien?"  Briscoe asked.
     Logan thought a moment, going over all of his past relationships in
his head.  "Yeah, I think I dated a woman by that name once.  Why?"
     "Well, it looks like you're the proud papa of a bouncing eight year
old boy,"  Briscoe announced as he handed Logan the birth certificate.
Logan snatched it from his hand and examined it carefully.

     Logan knocked on the door of Shannon O'Brien's home.  He didn't know
what had brought him there.  Was it his curiosity or his anger?   He and
Shannon had dated for about six months.  He liked her alot, but was never
quite sure if it was really "love".  They had a great time together, then
all of a sudden it was over.  She dumped him without any explanation.   He
hadn't seen or heard anything from her since then.  He guessed now he knew
why.  The curtain that covered the window in the door was pushed aside and
a woman peered out.  She quickly opened the door when she realized it was
Mike Logan.
     "Mike,"  Shannon said, surprised to see him.  "What are you doing here?"
     "I have to talk to you,"  Logan replied.
     "Come on in."  She stood aside and let him into the apartment.  "It's
so good to see you.  How long has it been?"  She showed him into the living
room and gestured for him to sit down but he declined.
     "My guess?  About eight years,"  Logan said.
     "So, what's going on?"  she asked, sounding like she wanted to catch
up on everything that she had ever missed with him.
     Logan took the birth certificate out of his coat pocket, looked at it,
then handed it to her.
     "What's this?"  Shannon asked as she took the paper.  Then, realizing
what it was, looked up at him.  "Where did you get this?"
     "It turned up during an investigation,"  Logan explained.  She looked
back at the paper to avoid Logan's cold stare.  There was an awkwardness
now between them.  "Do you have something you want to tell me?"
     "I...I...look, I know what you're thinking,"  Shannon stammered
nervously.  "But what good would it have done?  What were you going to do?
Make an honest woman out of me?"  she joked.  "I gave up the baby because I
thought it was the best thing for all of us."
     "So, it's true?"  Logan asked.  "You did have a baby and I'm the father."
     "It's true,"  Shannon said.  "I know I should've told you, but..."
     "Yeah, you should've,"  Logan interrupted.  "I think I had a right to
know that I had a kid out there somewhere."
     "Why?  Look, Mike, I liked you.  I may have even loved you,"  Shannon
began.  "But it never would have worked between us.  I didn't want the
responsibility of raising a child and neither of us were into committment.
It would have been disasterous for all of us.  Think of what we would have
done to this kid emotionally,"  she exclaimed.
     "It couldn't be worse than what the people who adopted him have done,"
Logan remarked.
     "What does that mean?"  Shannon asked, confused and looking back at
the birth certificate.  "How did you find this?"
     "The people who adopted him.  They abused him.  He shot his..."  He
stopped unable to say the word 'father'.  "He's in trouble and needs help.
I thought..."
     "No,"  Shannon said sternly.  "No, I can't."  She handed him the birth
certificate.  "I gave him up once because I didn't want a child, that
hasn't changed.  I'm sorry, Mike, but I can't."
     "Don't you even care what's happened to him?"  Logan asked angrily.
"I mean, this is your kid."
     "I don't have a kid,"  Shannon shot back.  "I gave him up.  What
ever's happened to him has nothing to do with me.  It's not my problem."
     "Not your problem?  How can you say that?"  Logan asked.  This was not
the same Shannon O'Brien he remembered.  She was always the first to offer
help to anyone.  He couldn't believe she didn't want to help her own child.
     "I don't want to have this conversation anymore,"  Shannon said
becoming very uncomfortable with the situation.  "I think you'd better go."
She walked to the door, expecting him to follow her, but he didn't.
     "Did you pick out the name?"  Logan asked.
     "What?"  Shannon asked, unsure how to respond to the question.
     "Gage Michael Logan,"  Logan answered.  "That's the name on his birth
certificate."  He stopped and waited for her to respond.  She hesitated,
then slowly walked back into the room.
     "Why are you doing this?"  She asked sympathetically.  "Can't you just
forget you ever found that piece of paper and just let it be?"
     "No, I can't,"  Logan said.  "And I don't know how you can just forget
that you had a kid."
     "I haven't forgotten,"  Shannon insisted.  "I think about it almost
everyday but it's not part of my life.  Having a child is not who I am.  I
have a career, I'm engaged to a great guy and we've decided that kids are
not something we need in our lives right now,"  she explained, but it
sounded more like she was trying to convince herself more than Logan.
"Please, do both of us a favor and forget this ever happened.  Put it
behind you and get on with your life."
     "I can't,"  Logan said.  "I've seen this kid.  I know what these
people have done to him.  And I know what will happen to him if he gets
thrown into the system.  I've seen it happen to other kids and I don't want
it to happen to him.  I can't let it."
     "So, what do you want me to do?"  Shannon asked getting hostile.  "Do
you want me to show up all of a sudden and say 'hi, I'm your mommy?'  No, I
know, you want to play daddy,"  she said attacking Logan with her words.
"And what part of your life are you going to give up to do that?  Your
career?  Your social life?  It'll never happen and you're kidding yourself
if you think it will."
     Logan took out the picture of Gage that he had gotten from Lauren
McDermot.  He looked at it briefly and then showed it to her, standing
behind her shoulder as he did.  As he studied the photograph he saw his own
smile on the boy's face.  No one would have guessed by looking at the
picture of this smiling, happy looking kid, that he was being abused.  He
looked deep into the hazel eyes, and it was there that he saw a glimpse of
something.  A sorrow much like his own.   "Look at this picture,"  he said.
"I think he looks like you."  The boy had his mother's dirty blonde hair,
that was combed neatly for the picture, and a little button nose.  There
was no doubt in Logan's mind that this boy was created by him and Shannon
O'Brien.
     Shannon took the picture from his hand, turned and angrily slapped it
against his chest.  "You have to go.  Now,"   she insisted and walked to
the door and held it open for him.  Logan slowly walked to the door.  He
waited, hoping she would say something, change her mind, but she didn't.
She just looked at the floor.  He left her standing there.

October 16, 8:00a.m.

     Briscoe, Stone and Robinette were mingling around in Cragen's office
discussing what to do concerning the McDermot case.  Logan knocked and
entered.  The other men stopped their discussion and looked at him.
     "What's going on?"  Logan asked and the men all exchanged uneasy glances.
     "It turns out, Mrs. McDermot was right about her son not being
mentally stable,"  Cragen reported.
     "What do you mean?"  Logan asked.
     "Her lawyer sent us a copy of his medical records,"  Cragen began.
"He was institutionalized for six months last year,"  he handed Logan a
file.  "He drown his little brother in the bathtub."
     "What?"  Logan asked both confused and offended about what he had just
beeen told.  "And you buy that?"
     "We have a sworn statement from the boy's psychiatrist,"  Stone said.
"He admitted to it during a therapy session."
     "No, I don't believe that,"  Logan said in the boy's defense.  "He's
not a killer.  These people abused him, they'll say anything to make
themselves not look guilty."
     "And they can get a doctor to falsify records?"  Stone inquired
sarcastically.
     "It happens,"  Logan said defensivly.
     "Look, Mike,"  Cragen stood up from behind his desk and walked towrd
Logan.  "I'm taking you off this case and giving it to Profaci and Lee."
     "Donnie,"  Logan said.
     "You're too close to this thing,"  Cragen said.  "I know you think
this might be your kid and your objectivity may be a little off center."
     "This is  my kid,"  Logan said again in defense.  "That's how I know
he couldn't do this."  He said waving the folder in Cragen's face.
     "Mike, you saw this kid put a gun to his head, he doesn't act
rationally,"  Briscoe added.  "You don't know how far he could go.  He
could have done it, and he did kill his father, he admitted that."
     "It was self defense.  Olivet confirmed that.  Or don't you even
believe our own psychiatrist?"  Logan said angrily.
     "Yes,"  Stone began.  "I think he killed the father in self defense.
He was being abused.  I'm not disputing that.  But a little girl is still
missing and he hasn't been forthcoming about her wherabouts.  It's possible
he could have harmed her as well."
     "I don't believe this,"  Logan said as he paced the office.  "What
about the McDermots?  What about all those other kids they supposedly
adopted?  Why aren't we questioning them about their wherabouts, or do you
think he killed all of them, too?"
     "Mike,"  Cragen warned.
     "This is crap,"  Logan snapped.  "He's a victim and you're making him
out to be some kind of serial killer.  Jesus, he's a little kid.  You don't
know what these people are capable of.  Did you ever think that maybe she
killed her husband and the little girl and maybe he's covering for her?"
     "And why would he do that?  If she was abusing him, he wouldn't
protect her,"  Stone said.
     "Maybe he's scared of being next,"  Logan responded.
     "Look, we're not getting anywhere here,"  Cragen said.  "Profaci and
Lee are picking up the kid from children's services, they're going to bring
him down here, we'll question him and see if we can't get this thing
solved."
     "I want to be there when you question him,"  Logan said.  "And I want
a guardian-ad-litem appointed and to be there during questioning."
     "Mike,"  Cragen started.
    "What?  If he's going to be treated like a criminal, he's entitled to
have someone to protect his rights.  Right?"  Logan questioned.
     The phone rang and Cragen quickly answered it.  "What?"  he snapped
into the receiver.  "What?!  Absolutly not.  Under no circimstances is
anyone to go near this kid.  Yeah."  He hung up the phone.  "Someone just
tried to snatch the kid."
     Logan turned and bolted out of the office.
     "Mike!"  Cragen yelled after him, but he was already gone.
      Briscoe motioned to Cragen that he would handle it and followed Logan
out of the office.

     Detective Profaci met Logan and Briscoe as they were walking down the
hall of the children's home where Gage McDermot was staying under
protective custody.  He greeted them "Mike, Lennie."
     "Where is he?"  Logan asked immediatly, worried about the boy he
thought was his son.
     "He's in here,"  Profaci said, leading them down the hall to a large
open room,  "He's o.k.  Just a little scared.  This is Ms. Hutchins, she
saw the whole thing."
     "I'm Detective Briscoe, this is Detective Logan,"  Briscoe said,
flashing his badge.  "Can you tell us what happened?"
     "It was a couple, a man and a woman.  Tried to take him right off the
playground.  Would have, too, except the kid started screaming bloody
murder.  It scared them off before we catch them,"  she answered.
     "What about a car?"  Briscoe asked.
     "Big, dark blue or black.  Nobody saw the plate.  Sorry,"  she said.
     "Thank you,"  Briscoe replied as Profaci wrote the information down in
his steno pad.
     Logan walked into the large open area and over to the window where
Gage was sitting.  He squat down beside the chair.
     "I don't want to stay here anymore,"  Gage said.
     "O.k., you don't have to,"  Logan assured him.
     "Gage,"  Briscoe said joing them by the window.  "Do you know the
people who tried to take you?  Have you ever seen them before?"
     "Mr. and Mrs. Kellerman,"  Gage replied.
     "Do you know why they wanted to take you away from here?"  Biscoe asked.
     "So I wouldn't tell you anything about them,"  Gage responded.
     "Like what?"  Briscoe asked.
     "They're evil.  They like to hurt kids,"  Gage said.
     "What do you mean?"  Briscoe asked.
     "Lennie,"  Logan said, standing up and walking a few feet away to talk
to Briscoe in private.  "What are you doing?"
     "I'm trying to find out what happened.  And I'm trying to keep this
kid from going to jail,"  Briscoe said.  "Look, Mike, if you want to help
this kid, you have to forget the fact that you might be his father and
treat him just like anyone else involved in an investigation.  You can't
question him and protect him at the same time.  Let me handle this o.k?"
He walked back over to the boy and pulled up a chair and sat in front of
him.  Logan stood close by.  "Gage, Detective Logan and I want to help you.
In order to do that, we need you to tell us everything you can about the
Kellermans and we really need to know what happened the night that your dad
was killed.  And most importantly, we need to find Megan.  Can you help us
do that?"
     "I can't,"  Gage said.  "They'll kill me if I tell."
     "Who?"  Briscoe asked.
     Gage didn't answer, he just looked at the floor.
     "Listen, Gage,"  Logan said.  "If you tell us who you're afraid of, we
can arrest them.  We can protect you so they won't hurt you or Megan again.
Do you understand?  They'll go to jail."
     "I can't,"  Gage said.
     "Gage, if you don't tell us where Megan is, you could go to jail.  Do
you understand that?"  Briscoe told the boy.  "It's kidnapping."
     "But what if I don't know where she is?"  Gage asked.
     "You said you did,"  Briscoe replied.
     "What if I don't, exactly?"  The boy asked again.
     Logan and Briscoe exchanged a frustrated look.  "Well, how can we find
out, exactly?"  Briscoe asked.
     "I'm hungry,"  Gage said changing the subject.  "Can we get something
to eat?"

     The waitress filled the glasses on the table where Logan, Briscoe and
Gage sat enjoying a pizza at Ruffino's Pizzaria.
     "O.k.  What about this one?"  Logan began.  "What's big and gray and
carries a trunk?"
     "An elephant on vacation.  Everybody knows that one,"  Gage said
smugly.  "I got a better one."
    "Why don't you save it for later,"  Briscoe said, as he tried to change
the subject once again and try to get some information out of the boy.  "We
need to talk about Megan,"  he said.  "You said you knew where she was."
     "I don't,"  Gage said, shyly shaking his head.
     "But you know who does, right?"  Briscoe urged.  The boy didn't
answer.  He just sat looking down at the table, avoiding the stares of the
two detectives.  "Gage,"  he continued, "Nothing bad will happen if you
just tell us the truth."  Slowly the boy's eyes looked up at Briscoe.  He
wanted to tell them.  He wanted to tell them everything, but he was afraid.
Det. Briscoe was wrong he thought to himself.  Something bad would happen
if he told.  Someone would be killed.  "The sooner you tell us, the sooner
this will be over and you can go home,"  Briscoe said.  "You want to go
home don't you?"   The boy shook his head.  He didn't want to go home.  Not
to that home anyway.
     "All right, look,"  Logan said, realizing it was his turn to try to
extract information from the boy.  "I'm going to tell you what we think
happened.  All you have to do is answer "yes" or "no", o.k?"  The boy
nodded.  "O.k.  We think, that on the night your dad was killed, he was
hitting you.  We think that happened alot.  Is that right?"  The boy
swallowed hard and nodded.  "We think that he was going to hurt Megan and
you tried to protect her and you shot him,"  he paused waiting for the boy
to reply.  The boy again nodded his head, instructing Logan to continue
theorizing.  "Then you got scared and you panicked.  You didn't know what
else to do so you took Megan and hid her somewhere to make it look like the
two of you had been taken by someone else.  But you were hurt and needed to
go to the hospital.  You couldn't take her with you, and you wouldn't just
leave her by herself, so you left her with someone, right?"  The boy looked
at Logan and saw that he understood.  He nodded again.  "Who did you leave
her with?"
     For a moment the boy didn't speak.  He still wasn't quite sure if the
two detectives could be trusted with his secret.  Once he told he knew
there would be no turning back.  It would all come out in the open.  There
would be nothing he could do to stop it then.  And, once the secret was
out, he knew there would be those who would stop at nothing to cover it
back up again.  He didn't have many choices, he knew that much for sure.
He could continue to cover the secrets and live the rest of his life in
fear or he could finally expose the evilness that surrounded him.
"Claudia,"  he finally said, making his choice without even realizing it.
"Claudia Sheffield."
     "Where can we find her?"  Logan asked.
     "451 108th Street, apartment 12,"  Gage answered.
     Logan nodded, assuring the boy that he made the right choice.  "Good"
he said.
     "But Megan's not there anymore,"  Gage said.  "They would've looked
for her there."
     "Who?"  Briscoe asked, discouraged that this new lead may be going nowhere.
     "Lauren and Maxwell,"  Gage replied.  "Claudia helped me to hide her
so they wouldn't ever find her."
     "And why would you and Claudia want to do that?"  Logan asked.  For a
moment the boy was silent.  He studied Logan's face trying to think about
how would he react when he found out.  Would he believe him?  Or would he
be like all the others and think that he was being told some crazy
elaborate story, made up to get his parents in trouble.  The secret was so
close to being revealed, he didn't want to turn back now, but he was
scared.  Scared of what THEY would do when they found out he had told. It
didn't matter, he thought, he had to tell them.  He had to tell them
everything or it would never stop.  Yes, he was going to tell Det. Logan
and Det. Briscoe what the McDermot's had really been up to all those years.

     All of a sudden a look of fear came over the boy's face.  He watched a
man intently as he entered the dining area and proceeded to walk past the
table where the three sat.  The man sat in the boothe directly behind them
and Gage turned in his seat so that he could watch the man's every move.
Logan and Briscoe exchanged a puzzled look but dismissed the boy's strange
reaction .  They had gotten what they needed, they thought, to wrap up this
case.
     "Let's go,"  Gage said turning quickly back around on the bench seat
and   pushed on Logan to get out of the boothe.  "Hurry, hurry!"  he said
as he dropped down under the table and crawled out of the boothe.  Once
out, he stood and took Logan by the arm and began tugging, repeating
himself over and over "let's go."
     Logan and Briscoe finally obliged and stood up from the table.  As
Briscoe paid the bill, Gage tugged at Logan's arm and led him out of the
restaurant.  Briscoe followed.
     "Hey, what's the matter with you?  Cut it out,"  Logan said, slightly
annoyed.
     "We got to get out of here,"  the boy replied, still tugging on Logan,
wanting to get as far away from this place as he could.  "Hurry!"
     "Calm down,"  Logan said, taking the boy by the arms.  "What's wrong?
What are you afraid of?"
     "He's one of them!"  Gage said with panic in his voice.  "He's following us.  He's going to kill me!"
     "Who?"   Logan looked around.  He saw no one suspicious, and had no
idea what the boy was talking about.  "Who's following us?"
     "That man.  In there.  He knows I was going to tell!  We got to leave
now, c'mon!"  Gage shouted and pulled away from Logan and ran into the
street.  A car horn blared and Logan pulled the boy out of the way of the
oncoming car and back onto the safty of the sidewalk.
     Logan, both angry at the boy's carelessness and relieved that he
wasn't hurt, shook him by the arms and shouted "Don't ever do that again!
You want to get yourself killed?!"  A strange feeling came over him, a
feeling of fear.  Fear of losing his son that he  hardly knew.  He was so
overcome with this feeling that he didn't know how to react.  Fear wasn't
an emotion that Logan had alot of experience with.  He was always outwardly
tough and inwardly strong.  He wasn't a man who showed his emotions openly.
Only a few times that he could remember and they all involved his partner
Max's death.   No, this was something completely unknown to him.  All that
he could think to do was hold onto this boy and never let him go.  Now that
he knew this little person existed, he couldn't imagine a life without him.
He grabbed the boy into his arms and held him tightly.  He felt trembling
coming not only from the boy's body, but his own.  Now they had both been
scared.
     "I don't want to die,"  the boy cried.  "Please don't let them kill me."
      "It's all right, you're safe,"  Logan comforted him.
      "Is everything all right?" asked the man who terrified Gage in the
restaurant, as he now stood beside Briscoe.  "I saw what happened."
      "Everything's fine,"  Briscoe answered.  "Thanks."
      "You better be careful young man,"  the man said patting Gage on the
head.  "You could get hurt."

     "Have a seat right there,"  Logan told Gage as they walked into the
squadroom.  "And don't move."
     The boy sat down in a chair beside Logan's desk and watched the two
detectives as they walked into Cragen's office and closed the door behind
them.
     "Where the hell have you been?"  Cragen shouted, slamming down the
receiver of the phone he was just talking into.  "Profaci's been back for
two hours and Stone's been on my back all morning wanting to know where
this kid is."
     "Well, we were trying to get some information out of him,"  Briscoe
reported.  "I think we finally have something."
     "And?"  Cragen waited for more information.
     "He told us who has the little girl, but, I'm not sure if it's a
reliable lead,"  Briscoe reported.  Cragen again waited.  "The mother may
be telling the truth, this kid's not playing with a full deck."
     "What the hell does that mean?"  Logan asked, offended by his
partner's description of his son.
     "C'mon, Mike,"  Briscoe began.  "You saw what happened at lunch."
     "That doesn't mean anything,"  Logan replied.
     "You want to clue me in here?" Cragen asked.
     Logan sighed as Briscoe relayed the details of the pizza parlor
incident to Cragen.  "I mean one minute he's cracking jokes and the next
he's all paranoid, screaming that we're being followed and that someones
trying to kill him."
    "What about this mother?"  Logan broke in trying to change the subject
and direct the conversation back in the direction he thought it needed to
go in.  "Anyone question her about those other five kids?"
     "She's in interrogation right now,"  Cragen answered.  "She swears she
doesn't know anything about her husband's business."
     "Yeah, just like she swore she didn't know he was beating the kid,"
Logan retorted.  "Look," he continued, "she's covering up something, so is
the kid.  There's more to this thing than we think."
     "Nothing else matters right now,"  Cragen insisted.  "Our main
priority is to find that little girl.  Now what did you get out of the
kid?"
     "He said the girl's with Claudia Sheffield, she used to be the
babysitter,"  Briscoe replied.
     "So, what are you waiting for?"  Cragen asked.  "Pay her a visit."
     "He was just about to tell us more when he freaked,"  Briscoe
continued.  "I think if we keep at him, the whole story might finally come
out instead of little pieces here and there."
     "All right,"  Cragen agreed.  "I'll have someone else pick up the
girl.  Let's put some pressure on this kid and put an end to this mess
before it gets worse, all right?"


    "Am I under arrest?"  Gage asked as he sat innocently across the table
from Cragen.
     "Did you do something that you should be arrested for?"  Cragen asked.
     "I killed my dad.  I already told them that," Gage answered.
     "That's right, you did"  Cragen replied.  "But Detective Briscoe and
Detective Logan think that you still have something that you're hiding
about that night.  Something that you were just about to tell them before
you got scared and ran out of the restaurant."
     "Where's Detective Logan?"  Gage asked.
     "He'll be in in a minute,"  Cragen said.  "He won't mind if you tell
me and Detective Briscoe.  What did you want to tell him?  Something about
Megan?  About where she is?"
     "Did he go to see Claudia?"  Gage asked avoiding Cragen's numerous
questions.
     "She's coming down here,"  Cragen answered.  "We're going to talk to
her, too.  See, so anything you don't tell us we'll have to get from her.
It will take us alot longer to close this case but eventually we will find
out everything that we need to know.  So, not telling us what you know
isn't going to help anyone.  You see?"
     "I want to tell you, but..."  Gage paused.
     "But what?"  Cragen asked.
     "I don't think you'll believe me."
     "Sure I will"  Cragen coaxed.
     "We had to hide Megan so no one would ever find her.  'Cause if they
did they'd sell her,"  Gage said.
      "Who?"
     "Lauren and Maxwell.  I killed Dave. But they're just as bad.  If they
would've found her they would have sold her to some guy in New Jersey,"
Gage replied intelligently.  "He collects kids and... makes them do bad
things."
     "What kind of things?"  Cragen asked.
     "He makes them have sex with him,"   Gage replied matter of factly.
     For a moment Cragen wasn't sure if he understood what the boy was
trying to tell him but the look on the kid's face was too intense to have
just fabricated a story like this.  He felt it had to be true, but he
needed more details to be absolutly sure. "Do you know this man?"
     "His name's Walter, Walter McGinty.  Dave used to adopt kids through
his agency.   Then he would sell the kids to Walter for a lot of money.
Then Walter keeps the kids and has people pay him to have sex with them, or
sometimes he just sells them the kids and gets more from Dave."
     Cragen was both stunned and sickened over what he was hearing.  The
story was either the result of a very messed up mind or it was true.  He
had to know how this boy knew all this, so he asked.
      "I know kids that have gone there and never come back,"  Gage
replied.  "I've seen the pictures he's taken of the kids that go there.
Pretty sick stuff.  That's why I had to kill Dave.  He was going to sell
Megan.  I've been to Walter's, I couldn't let them do that to her.  I had
to do something to stop him."
     Cragen was still entertaining the idea that this was all make-believe
but he said to Briscoe "let's check out this McGinty."
     "Are you going to tell them that I told?"  Gage said with fear in his
voice.
     "No, we're not going to tell,"  Cragen assured him.
     "They'll kill me,"  Gage insisted.  "Like the others that tried to tell."
     "What others?"
     "Marie and Todd.  And Ravina,"  Gage answered.
     "It's o.k. We're not going to tell."  Cragen said.  "And Detective
Briscoe is going to check out this Walter, now the only thing that we still
need to know is where exactly is your sister?"
     "Ohio,"  Gage said.  "I contacted some people through the internet.
They wanted to adopt a little girl, so I printed up adoption papers and
Claudia pretended to be her mother and flew her out there.  They have
Megan.  They're going to take good care of her.  You don't have to worry.
I checked them out first.  They're good people, they have three other kids.
Boys.  They really wanted a little girl.  She's going to be happy there,"
he explained.
     "Happy or not, that's not the point,"  Cragen said amazed at the boy's
knowledge and mature attitude.  "The point is that you didn't have any
right to do that.  Neither you nor Claudia have custody of that little
girl, you're not her parents, and what you did is kidnap her and that's a
felony and you could both go to jail."
     "But..." the boy tried to plead his case but was cut off by Cragen.
     "No buts.  Where is she?  What are the people's names?"  He said
losing his patience for this game.   "Where?"  he shouted angrily,
clenching his teeth.
     Cragen didn't believe him Gage thought.  It was all an act to get him
to tell him where Megan was so they could give her back to Lauren.  He was
tricked into trusting them.  They had no intention of helping him or
stopping what was happening to all those kids, him included.  Cragen and
Briscoe, maybe Logan too, were just like all the others.  They hadn't
believed him either.  Maybe they couldn't.  Maybe it was too grotesque for
them to think that it could actually be true.  Of course, that was it, it
was too horrible to imagine that people like Walter and Maxwell and the
McDermots existed in this world.  People who hurt and used defensless
children for their own gain.  Who would want to believe a thing like that?
Who could picture that there were people out there who craved having sex
with children, who molested and raped them and tortured them every day of
their lives and murdered them if they tried to stop it?  No normal person
could believe it.  And if they did, then maybe they would be too ashamed
that they could have done something to stop it but didn't.
      But it was true.  All of it.  Gage had seen it happen to other
children.  It happened to him.  Too often.  He knew, if no one else did,
what kind of evil lurked out there in the world.  He had seen it's face.
     "You don't believe me,"  Gage finally said, tears swelling up in his
eyes.  "I knew you wouldn't."
     "Gage, listen, it's not that I don't believe you, it's just that we
have certain procedures that we need to follow before we can do anything
about these accusations.  We need some kind of proof.  Do you understand?"
Cragen explained.  "We can't just accuse people of this kind of thing
without something to back it up.  Now, we're going to check out everything
that you told us, but we need to take care of getting Megan back first.  So
please, tell us the names of the people who adopted her?"
     It was no use to try to fight it anymore.  He had told Captain Cragen
everything that he knew about the child prostitution ring that was being
run by the McDermots.  There were no more secrets, except the one that was
protecting his sister, Megan.  Nothing could hurt her anymore, though, he
thought.  The police would follow through with the claims against McGinty
and the others and he and Megan and Claudia would be safe.  There wasn't
anything else to be afraid of so he told.

     Ben Stone stood with Logan in the interrogation room lobby, listening
to the interview inside.  Neither one knew what to say about what they had
heard.  Logan had dealt with cases of child molestation before, but this
was different.  That was his kid in there making those kinds of
accusations.  He remembered back to the photograph of Gage that he had
shared with Shannon.  He thought about the look he saw deep in the child's
eyes.  The same pain and torment that he had experienced at the hands of
Father Joe Krolinsky.  His son was molested because he wasn't there to
protect him and it was eating away at him.
     Cragen and Briscoe exited the interrogation room into the lobby. They
had been friends with Logan for many years.  They've seen eachother through
some rough times but neither knew how to comfort their friend after this
new revelation.
     "If it's true,"  Stone began, "We'll call it justifiable homicide."
     "And if it's not?"  Logan asked.
     "Murder two,"  Stone answered.  "What about this girl?  Can she
corroborate his story?"
     "We're picking her up now,"  Cragen replied.
     "Well, let's hope she can,"  Stone said.
     The door of the lobby opened.  It was Det. Profaci, who always brought
them the latest news on a case.  They could tell right away by the look on
his face that he didn't have good news.
     "Oh, what now?"  Cragen said, not able to take anymore wrinkles in the
case.
     "They found the girl,"  Profaci said.  "She's dead.  Someone cut her
throat."
     "All right,"  Cragen said quickly changing the plans.  "See what we
got on this McGinty and hold the mother and the lawyer, too.  No one leaves
here till we get to the bottom of this.  And check out these people in
Ohio, Marty and Anita Cologne.  Let's get that little girl back here."   He
patted Logan on the shoulder and looked through the window into the
interrogation room where Gage still sat.  "Talk to him, Mikey,"  he said
and walked out of the room.


     Cragen sat in his office dwelling over the events of the day.  For
twenty-six years he dealt with the low-life scum of New York City.  He had
seen it all, murders, rapes, abuse - none of it was new to him.  In the
last few years he felt himself becoming more uneffected by it all.
Everyday another murder.  It was his job and nothing more.   He could leave
it all at the office now when he went home at night unlike when he first
became a beat cop and tried to solve the problems of the world even from
home.  But today, for the first time in a long time, he didn't think he was
going to be able to leave this one at the office.  He had seen many cases
involving child prostitution and abuse but none of those cases involved a
child of a friend.  He wasn't so much worried about the boy overcoming what
had happened to him, but rather, he was more afraid of what Logan would do
to those who abused his son.  He thought he might have yet another murder
on his hands.  His thoughts were interrupted by Briscoe's knock on the
door.  He snapped back to the case at hand and waited for Briscoe to give
his report on McGinty.
     "McGinty's got seven counts of aggrevated sexual abuse on a minor.  He
served twelve years in Ossining,"  Briscoe said.  "Parroled in 1980,
nothing since."
     "Address?"  Cragen asked
     "New Jersey,"  Briscoe replied.  "Just like the kid said."
     "Pick him up,"  Cragen ordered.  "Take some back up, I don't want this
guy getting away."
     Just as Briscoe was turning to leave the office Logan, Stone and
Robinette walked in with Gage.  Logan held up the computer disks that had
been found in the boys backpack days earlier.
     "You wanted proof, I think we got it,"  Logan said and tossed the
disks onto Cragen's desk.
     "What's this?"  Cragen asked.
     "Pictures,"  Logan answered.  "Taken by those bastards."
     "Where'd they come from?"  Cragen asked.
     "I stole them,"  Gage replied.  "That's why they didn't kill me, they
knew I had them and they wanted them back. So they killed Claudia instead."
     Cragen could see that the boy had been crying.  His eyes were red and
swollen and his face was flushed.  The boy looked at him for some sign that
he believed his story and that he would finally help him to end the
McDermot's reign of terror over him.  "O.k., show me,"  he said finally and
handed the disks to the boy.  The men gathered around the computer as the
boy inserted the disks and began depressing the keys.  When the first image
appeared on the screen they weren't quite sure what they were looking at.
The photo was small then they finally realized that the image was that of a
little girl performing oral sex on a man.  The man's face, however, could
not be seen in the photograph.  The next image was much clearer and the men
choked back their revulsion.
     "What the hell is this?"  Cragen asked, wanting an explanation from
someone and he didn't care who.
     "In addition to running a child prostitution ring, the McDermots were
heavy into child pornography,"  Logan explained.  "Since 1980."
     "You mean to tell me these people have been doing this for almost
twnety years and nobody had a clue?"  Cragen asked.  "That's freakin'
amazing."
          "Gage,"  Stone said softly, "do you know who all these people are?"
     Gage pointed at the screen and rambled off some names.  There was a
man in a mask that he couldn't identify however.  "He's like the boss,"  he
said.  "Everybody does what he says, but nobody knows his name, they just
call him J.R.  He's the one who killed Marie and Todd."
     "You saw him?"  Stone asked.
      Gage nodded.   "It was a warning.  If anyone else thought about
telling he'd kill us, too,"  Gage replied.
     "Who took these pictures?"  Robinette asked.
     "Lauren,"  Gage answered.
     Stone and Robinette were both impressed by the boy's level headedness,
intelligence and the calm manner in which he spoke.  He seemed like an
ordinary eight year-old on the outside but inside there was an a soul that
was wise beyond it's years due in fact maybe to the adult world in which he
was forced to live.  He had experienced things that  the average person
never would, even in a whole lifetime.  He was a 'man-child' Stone thought.
Part of him was still a little boy, scared and confused, looking for
someone to scare away the monsters.  The other part was a man trying to
undue some of the injustices that were part of his world.  The images that
they were seeing, however much it sickened them, was this boy's way of
life.  And that repulsed them even more.
     The video became even more grotesque.  The men watched in horror and
abhorrence as a boy was tied up, beaten and gang raped on the screen.
They recognized him immediately as the boy standing in front of them now;
Gage McDermot.
     "Turn it off,"  Logan said.  "Turn it off, now!"  He yanked the plug
out of the wall and paced the office trying not to lose control.  He
thought he might vomit, but he had to keep contol of his faculties.  If he
lost it now he didn't know what would happen and he had to have a clear
head.  He had to be there for his son.
     "It's o.k."  Stone said to the boy and put his hand on his shoulder.
"It's over now."  He tried to smile to reassure the boy that he was telling
the truth but Stone knew that something that traumatic would take a long
time to get over.  "Arrest the Sons of Bitches," he said.

     Briscoe, Logan and Cragen stormed into the interrogation room in which
Maxwell and Lauren were impatiently waiting.  Logan went right away for
Maxwell and yanked him from his seat and slammed him against the wall, face
first.  Maxwell didn't know what hit him and he stammered "What's going on,
here?"
     "You're under arrest you sick son of a bitch,"  Logan said as he flung
Maxwell around to face him and grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket.
"I'm going to personally make sure you go to hell for what you did to my
kid.  And you're going to have a very long stay there."  He turned Maxwell
back toward the wall, took out his cuffs and placed them on Maxwell's
wrists.  Briscoe followed the same routine with Lauren.  "Bob Maxwell,
Lauren McDermot, you're under arrest for pornography, soliciting child
prostitution and murder.  You have the right to remain silent, if you give
up that right anything you do say can and will be used against you in a
court of law.  Do you understand that?"
     "That little bastard told,"  Lauren shouted.  "I knew we should have
killed him when we had the chance."
     Logan couldn't control himself any longer.  He was too enraged by
Lauren's comment.  He let go of Maxwell, grabbed her from Briscoe's hold,
flung her around to face him and slugged her in the face, sending her to
the floor in a heap.
     "Mike!"  Cragen yelled and quickly went to restrain Logan from
striking her again.  "Get them out of here!"  he called to Briscoe and
escorted Logan out.  Once out of the room, he turned to Logan and said
"good shot," and patted him on the arm.


March 23 - Five Months Later

     Mike Logan walked into the courthouse holding his son by the hand.
From the moment he found out he was a father he did everything to provide
for his son.  He filed for custody and got it.  He got a bigger place and
cut back on the number of dates he had in a week so that he could spend
time with his boy;  going to basketball games at the Garden and such.  It
wasn't easy but he was doing what he could to help his son heal from the
emotional and physical wounds that afflicted him.  He was a good father.
He hadn't been there for his son in the past but he was doing everything in
his power to insure that he was there for him now.  That included getting
him ready to testify against his abusers.
     "Mike,"  Ben Stone called when he saw them come up the stairs.  Logan
saw him and waved in acknowledgement.  "Where have you been?  You were
supposed to be here at eight.  It's eight-thirty,"  Stone said as he
approached the pair.
     "Sorry,"  Logan said.  "But we're having a little confidence problem."
     "Oh, don't tell me,"  Stone said.
     "I don't know if I can do it, Mr. Stone,"  Gage said.
     "Gage, we've been over this a hundred times,"  Stone told his witness.
"They can't hurt you. They can't even talk to you.  You don't have
anything to be afraid of anymore.  You just go in there, tell the jury what
you know, and you'll never have to see these people ever again."
     "I'll try, Mr. Stone,"  Gage replied.
     "Good,"  Stone smiled.
     "How's it look in there?"  Logan asked curious about how the jury was
reacting to the testimony they had already heard from previous witnesses.
     "I think we can definitly get a guilty verdict on the molest charges
but other than Gage's testimony we don't have anything conclusive on the
murders,"  Stone told him, "But even if the jury doesn't find them guilty
of murder they'll be going away for a long time."
     "That's not enough,"  Logan said.  "These people should get the chair
for what they did."
     Stone nodded in part to acknowledge Logan's response and part in
agreement with his comment.    "He's going to be the first witness called
this morning.  Until we're ready you can wait in here,"  he said and he led
them down the hall to a witness waiting room.

     Logan and Gage waited in the room for Gage to be called to testify.
Cragen knocked on the door and entered without waiting for a reply.
     "Hey, Donnie,"  Logan said, standing to shake Cragen's hand.  "Thanks
for coming."
     "How's it going?"  Cragen asked quietly, trying to keep the
conversation private.
     "He's nervous, but he's o.k."  Logan answered.
     "Any word from the mother?"  Cragen asked referring to Shannon
O'Brien, Gage's real mother, who had refused to have anything to do with
her son, or Logan for that matter.
     "She's moving to Florida,"  Logan said,  "and getting married."
     "And how do you feel about that?"  Cragen asked.
     "I don't know, I mean, whatever,"  Logan replied, "I only wish she was
there for him."
     "Dad?"  Gage said.  "I don't feel so good.  I think I'm going to throw up."


     Logan knealt before his son in the middle of the mensroom, wiping his
face with a wet paper towel.  "Feel better?"  The boy nodded, chewing on a
piece of gum.
     "Are you going to be there?"  Gage asked.
     "Of course I'm going to be there,"  Logan answered and straightened
the boy's hair and clothes.  "Everything's going to be fine,"  he assured
him.
     "Promise?"
     "Promise."
     "Dad,"  Gage said.
     "Yeah?"  Logan responded and waited for the boy to finish but Gage
didn't say anything else.  He didn't have to.  Logan saw the look on his
face. It was a look he had seen alot over the past five months.  It was a
look that neither was able to express in words as yet.  A look that said "I
love you."  Gage put his arms around Logan's neck and hugged him.  In his
father's arms he always felt safe and free of harm.  Logan returned the
favor wrapping his arms tightly around his son and giving him a squeeze.
Even though Logan was supposed to be the adult, the protector and the one
who made sure everything wasall right, he needed this hug now and again
too, to make himself feel loved and secure.  It was one of the ways the two
had found to communicate with eachother when things were not easy to say.
     "They're ready,"  Cragen said, sticking his head in and interrupting
this father and son moment.
     "Ready?"  Logan asked the boy.   He took a deep breath and nodded in
reply.  "O.k.  Give me the gum,"  he said holding out his hand for the boy
to spit the gum into it.

     Because Gage was a minor and Stone wanted to protect his identity,
keeping him anonymous was the ruling of the court.  The court was closed to
all but those who had a direct connection with the case.  The defendants,
Lauren McDermot, Bob Maxwell and Walter McGinty sat with their lawyers to
the right of the courtroom.  Logan sat directly behind Stone and Robinette
where he could give moral support to his son.  The other perpretrators in
this case had all plead to lesser offenses and were either already serving
time in prison or were on probation, depending on the degree of their
offense.  Only these three, along with their "Boss", J.R, who had never
been identified, had yet to be charged with the most serious and heinous of
the charges filed in the suit.  The case had been in process for more than
a month now and Stone hoped to wrap up his case with Gage's testimony
today.  He knew the boy was nervous and afraid to look toward the
defendants table so he stood directly in front of him during questioning to
keep his attention focused on him and not his abusers, whom he still
feared.
     "Gage,"  Stone began, "Did you ever know a little girl named Marie
Olivera?"
     "Yes,"  Gage answered.
     "And how about Todd Banks?"
     "Yes,"  Gage answered again.
     "Ravina Price?  Tommy McDermot?"
     "Yes."
     "Claudia Sheffield?"
     "Yes."
     "Can you tell the jury what happened to these children?"  Stone asked.
     "They killed them,"  Gage said.
     "Who killed them?"
     "Dave and Bob and J.R.,"  Gage said.
     "Your honor, I object to this line of questioning,"  the defendants
attorney, Mitchell Blanchard, said.  "There's been no proof brought in this
case that these children were murdered.  For all we know, they may have run
away and are living in Southern California, soaking up the sun."
     "You honor, the state intends to prove by this witness's testimony
that these children are in fact dead and that they died at the hands of the
defendants,"  Stone  retorted.
     "I'll allow it,"  Judge Raymond Hayward announced.
      "Thank you, your honor,"  Stone said then turned his attention back
to Gage who sat nervously in the witness box.  "Gage, how did these
children die?"
     "They were going to tell about what they were doing to us.  They found
out and cut them, here,"  Gage answered and he drew his hand across his
throat like a knife.
     "And how do you know this?"  Stone asked.
     "I saw them."
     "You saw all the children murdered?"
     "No.  Only Marie, Todd and Ravina."
     "And who actually cut their throats?"  Stone asked.
     "J.R did."
     "And what did the others do?"
     "They held them so they couldn't get away. They said if anybody else
tried to tell they'd kill us, too."
     "Thank you.  No more questions,"  Stone said and smiled at Gage to
assure him he did a good job.  Then he turned and walked back to his table.
Mitchell Blanchard stood, buttoned his suit jacket and proceeded to the
witness box.  He was a cocky and crude young attorney.  He didn't know Gage
or even care about what had happened to him or the other children.  All he
cared about was winning this case.  He immediatly began grilling the
witness about his testimony.
     "Gage, you said that you saw this J.R. person actually kill Marie,
Todd and Ravina.  Is that right?"  Blanchard asked.
     "Yes."
     "And that my clients only 'helped' him, is that right?"
     "Yes."
     "Isn't it true that this so-called, "J.R" was never actually identified?"
     "I guess."
     "Well, what would you say if my clients said that there really was no
J.R. and that you made him all up, along with these others kids?"
Blanchard asked.  Gage didn't know how to answer the question so he said
nothing.  "Well?"
     "They're lying,"  Gage answered.
     "Uh-huh.  But, you're not lying, are you?"
     "No."
     "No, of course not.  You'd never lie would you?"  Blanchard said in
jest.  "Tell me, Gage, have you ever seen a psychiatrist?"
     "Yes,"  Gage answered.
     "Why?"
     "Objection, the witnesses medical history is not relevant to what he
saw,"  Stone interjected but was overruled.
     "Gage tell the jury why you saw a psychiatrist a year ago,"  Blanchard
continued.  "Was it because of Tommy?"  Gage didn't answer, he didn't want
to talk about what happened to Tommy.  "What happened to Tommy?"
     "He drowned."
     "How?"
     "Lauren did it."
     "But, didn't you tell Dr. Bently that you did it?"  Blanchard questioned.
     "Yes."
     "Why did you do that?"
     "They made me."
     "So, you didn't really drown him, you just lied and said you did
because someone told you to, am I right?"  Blanchard theorized.
      "Yes."
      "So, you admit that you lied?"
      "I...they made me say that."
      "And you'd say just about anything that  anyone told you to say,
wouldn't you?"  Blanchard grilled.
     "No."
     "Did someone tell you to lie and make up these horrible things about
my clients?"
     "Objection, he's badgering the witness,"  Stone interjected, but was
again overruled.
     "The witness will answer,"  Judge Hayward said.
     "I didn't make it up,"  Gage said.
     "How can we be sure?  I mean, you lied in the past, how can we be sure
you're not lying now?"
     "I'm not a liar,"  Gage said in his defense.  But, Blanchard had
accomplished what he intended.  He had taken the jury's focus off the
murders and placed it on the fact that Gage had lied in the past about
information in the case.  "I didn't make it up,"  Gage insisted and became
increasingly agitated as he looked at the defendants.  He stood up, turned
to judge and said "It's all true.  You have to believe me."
     Judge Hayward looked directly at the boy and sternly said "Sit down,
young man."  There was something in his voice that was familiar, but Gage
couldn't place it at first.  Then he realized whose voice it was.  A look
of shock and fear came over his face.  Judge Hayward noticed it and Stone
did, too.
     "O.k."  Gage said giving in to Blanchard.  "I made it all up.  None of
it's true."  The courtroom was all abuzz.  The defendants all at once
seemed to breathe a little easier, they were going to get off they thought.
The Prosecution on the other hand was scrambling to hold on.  Stone never
anticipated that Gage would be so terrified that he would recant everything
right there in the courtroom.  He had to get contol of this case again.  He
couldn't let the last thing that the jury heard be that Gage had made up
this whole story.
     "Redirect, your honor,"  Stone asked of the court and the court
obliged.  Stone walked toward Gage who sat visibly shaking in the witness
box.  "Gage, I want to remind you that you took an oath to tell the truth
in this courtroom, do you remember that?"
     Gage nodded and said "Yes."
     "And you know what happens to people who don't tell the truth in
court, don't you?"
     "Don't make me tell, Mr. Stone,"  Gage pleaded, "please don't make me."
     Stone didn't know what had happnened.  He knew Gage was scared about
testifying and he knew that there was a possible threat to the boy's life
if he did so.   He knew all this and thought that in the past five months
they had worked all of that out.  But there was something different going
on now.  He didn't know what it was but he had to find out before he
continued with his questioning. "Five minute recess, your honor?"  Stone
asked and was granted his request.

     Stone led Gage by the arm into the witness waiting room, followed by
Robinette, Logan and Cragen.  "What the hell is going on?"  Stone demanded
to know of his witness.  "What were you thinking by saying that you made
everything up?  Areyou trying to blow this case?!"
     "Hey, back off,"  Logan said.  "He's just scared, ok.?"
     "No, it's not ok."  Stone insisted.  "He just single handedly gave
those bastards a walk on the murder charges.  The jury will never convict
now.  They could be out in fifteen years, is that what you want?"
     "Of course I don't want that,"  Logan protested.
     "Hey, guys, chill,"  Robinette said to Stone and Logan when he
realized that Gage had huddled himself, crying, into a corner and buried
his head in his arms.
     Logan went to his son and pulled him up and into his lap.  Stone had
to act fast.  His case was crumbling before him.  He had to convince Gage
to go back into the courtroom and make the jury believe his story.
     "Gage,"  Stone said comfortingly, knealing in front of the boy as he
sat on his father's lap.  "We have to go back in there and try to convince
the jury that you were telling the truth about McGinty and Maxwell.  If you
don't, the jury might not convict them in the murder of those other
children.  Do you understand?  This is very important."
     "It's him,"  Gage said, through his tears.
     "Who?"  Logan asked.
     "J.R."  Gage replied.  "He's the judge."
     "Gage, this is crazy,"  Stone said, aggrevated again.  "I know you're
scared, but you can't get out of this by making up a story like that about
Judge Hayward.  I've known him for ten years.  It's not possible that he's
the man who hurt you and the others."
     "It is him" Gage insisted.  "I recognized his voice."
     "You're mistaken"  Stone urged.  "You were upset by Blanchard and you
let him intimidate you, that's what frightened you.  It wasn't the judge,"
Stone insisted.
     "It is  him!  You have to believe me,"  Gage insisted again.  "I know
it's him.  I can't go back in there.  I can't."
     "This is just great,"  Stone said.  "What the hell are we supposed to
do now?"  He looked for assistance from Robinette and Cragen.  Neither one
knew what to do in the situation.  "Teriffic."  Stone paced the tiny room
trying to think of a way to save his case, but he came up with nothing.  He
couldn't force the boy back on the stand not in the condition he was in.
There was no telling what would happen if he did that.  He had to proceed
without confirmation of Gage's previous testimony against the defendants.
"I'll tell the judge he's unable to finish his testimony,"  he said.
     "What do you think he'll do?"  Robinette asked.
     "I don't know,"  Stone answered.  "I wouldn't doubt it if he threw the
whole thing out."  Stone looked back at the boy, disappointed that he let
himself rely too much on this testimony to prove his case against McGinty
and Maxwell.  He opened the door, walked out and slammed it behind him.
     "Hey, Paul,"  Logan said as he stood, "tell Stone to blow it out his ass."
Robinette sighed and follwed his boss back to the courtroom.

    Logan and Cragen stood outside the courtroom waiting to here back from
Stone or Robinette of the judge's ruling.  Logan realized that Gage wasn't
standing beside him any longer and looked around for him.  He saw him just
a few feet away, down the corridor at the water fountain.  At the same time
he saw a somewhat familiar man enter the corridor and begin to walk toward
Gage.  Logan kept his eye on the man.  He couldn't place where he had seen
him before or why he was suspicious of him.  He just knew there was
something about him he didn't trust.  He began to walk down the corridor
after the man.  Cragen watched him as he did.
     When the man was about five feet from where Gage was standing he took
out a pistol from his jacket and pointed it in the boy's direction.   He
fired two rounds which sent Cragen running after him down the adjacent
corridor.   Logan, who felt like he himself was hit with a bullet, ran to
his son and caught him just before he hit the ground.  "Get an ambulance!"
he shouted to bystanders who, when they heard the gunshots, huddled into
corners or fell to the floor for protection.
     "Daddy?"  Gage moaned.
     "Shhhh, don't try to talk,"  Logan said as he held the boy in his
arms.  "I'm right here."  He looked at the small body lying in his arms.
Blood had already begun to seep through the boys sweater turning the color
from a cool blue to a deep, dark black.  "Hang on, you're going to be o.k."
Logan felt everything that was important to him slipping away.  For eight
years he  never even knew this child existed.  He spent the last five
months trying to make up for all those years that he wasn't there.  He
cramned a lifetime into those five months.  He felt it all fading away now
as he look at his son dying in his arms.
     Cragen returned to the corridor after apprehending the shooter and
turning him over to the courthouse security guards.  He wasn't aware that
the boy had been shot until he saw Logan cradeling him in his arms on the
floor.  He immediatly went to his friend and knealt down on the floor
across from him.  He saw the blood that was now dripping from the boy's
body onto the floor.  He knew right away there wasn't much hope that this
child was going to survive.
     "Hang on, honey,"  Logan said, "help is coming."  His words were part
to comfort his son and part to convince himself that everything was going
to be all right.  He repeated himself several times for reassurance.  He
looked at his friend Don Cragen for that same assurance but it wasn't
there.
     The courtroom doors opened and the court was emptied by those inside
who were curious to the commotion that was happening outside their walls.
Among them were Stone and Robinette who were shocked at the sight.  They
forced their way through the security officers who were keeping onlookers
at bay to see if they could help.
     Gage's breathing was labored now.  His breaths came in short, raspy
wheezes.  His focus was on his father.  He listened to the gentle, loving
way he spoke.  He couldn't hear every word with his ears but he felt them
with his heart.  He struggled to obey his father's commands to hang on but
he was growing weary with every breath.
     Logan saw Gage's eyes begin to roll back in his head.  "Gage!" he
shouted at him, putting his hand to the boys face and shaking his head to
keep him alert.  He couldn't let him give up.  "Stay with me,"  he pleaded.
"Just hang on."
     "Daddy,"  Gage tried to speak but he was weak.  His lips moved but
there wasn't any sound, only short gasps for air.
     "I'm right here,"  Logan said, holding the boy tighter in his arms.
     "I can't,"  Gage gasped.
     "It's o.k.  Shhh.  You're doing fine,"  Logan said as tears began to
swell in his eyes.  He wiped them away quickly not wanting anyone to see,
especially his son.  He had to be strong.  He couldn't let himself feel
anything.  He had to concentrate on pulling his son through this.  He felt
the boys body tighten and strain for each little breath.  He couldn't hold
back the tears and he cried out "God, don't do this to me.  Please help
me."
     "Where the hell's that ambulance?!"  Cragen shouted in desperation.
What in reality was only a few minutes was an eternity for them.  Every
breath or gasp was an hour.  Cragen knew from past experience that even if
the ambulance were to arrive right now there was nothing the paramedics
could do.  Gage had lost too much blood.  There was a giant puddle on the
floor under where he lay.  He guessed that the bullets had hit the boy on
the chest and had blown a hole in his lungs which accounted for the extreme
amount of blood loss and the boy's inability to breathe.  He listened
painfully to the little boy's wheezing.  He knew it wouldn't be long now.
     Tears streamed down Logan's face.  He couldn't stop them and he didn't
bother to try.  His son was dying and there was nothing he could do to stop
it from happening.  He didn't care what anyone thought.  What father
wouldn't cry as he held his dying child?  He watched his son struggling to
breathe.  He listened to him gasping for air.
     Logan wasn't a praying man.  He had rejected any form of organized
religion, due to his negative relationship with anyone who was a 'true
believer.'But now he felt the need to pray.  The only problem was he
didn't know whether he should pray for a miracle that his son would be
cured, or whether he should pray for God to take him quick and not let him
suffer anymore than he already had.  He knew the possibility of a miracle
happening was slim.  He was left with only one choice, if he decided to
make it.
     Gage reached his hand up and wiped away a tear from Logan's eye.  His
breathing turned from short gasps to a gurgle as blood filled what was left
of his lungs and trickled from the corner of his mouth.  He slowly began to
lower his hand then it dropped to the floor and went limp.
     "Gage?"  Logan whispered, looking intently at the boy's face and body
for any signs of life.  "Gage?"  he said louder, thinking that maybe the
boy just hadn't heard him.  He shook the boy's head and gently patted his
face, trying to stimulate a reaction, but there was none.  His son was
dead. "No,"  Logan cried, "Oh, God, No!"   He pulled the boy's limp,
lifeless body close to his chest and cradled him lovingly as he cried.

     Logan sat alone in the dark, quiet apartment.  It had been three weeks
since his son was murdered and he still couldn't get the images of it out
of his mind.  His only consolation was that the man who had killed Gage was
also murdered, shortly after his arrest.  He confessed that he was hired by
Judge Raymond Hayward to make sure that his secret wasn't exposed.  Judge
Hayward realized that Gage had recognized him in the courtroom during his
testimony.  The Judge couldn't let himself be exposed so he ordered the man
to kill the boy.  But Judge Hayward's secret identity, J.R., was revealed
and he was arrested along with his cohorts.  But the judge, unable to face
a trial and term in prison, hung himself.  One by one the persons
responsible for Gage Logan's death were mysteriuosly eliminated.  Lauren
McDermot, who was out of jail on bond and because the court felt she posed
no threat to society, was mugged and strangled while walking home from the
market one evening.  Bob Maxwell and Walter McGinty were both stabbed to
death while in jail.  The coincidences of these murders were too much for
the New York Police Department to buy.  So they began an investigation into
the murders.  Logan, naturally, since he was the grieving father and a
detective with access to each of the perpetrators, was their first suspect.
Fortunately, he had an airtight alibi for each one of the murders.  So the
investigators moved on.  They questioned Briscoe and Cragen as well because
of their close friendship and ties with Logan.  They, too, were cleared as
suspects.  The investigators didn't have many leads and were getting no
where with their case.  Every lead was a dead end.  They were beginning to
think they would never know who, if anyone, was behind their deaths.
     Logan faded back to the present.  He found himself more and more
fading in and out of reality trying to hold on to the few memories he had
of him and his son together.   Before Gage came along, he didn't ever
envision himself as a father.  He was happy with his life the way it was.
No ties.  Nothing to keep him home at night.  After Gage came into his life
all of that changed.  It was hard at first, giving up all that freedom, but
he had gotten used to it and rathered enjoyed the notion that someone
needed him.  Logan missed his son terribly and there were times when he
thought he almost heard him laughing or calling him.  Sometimes if he
turned quickly, he thought he could catch a glimpse of the boy sitting next
to him at the table.  But he knew it wasn't real.  His son was gone and he
was never going to see him again.  He was never going to talk to him again
or hear his voice.  He wouldn't get to watch him grow up.  All of that was
taken away from him and no amount of time was going to heal him.
     "I'm coming,"  he called and got up from his chair and walked to
Gage's bedroom.  He opened the door and peered in.  The room was just as it
had been the day Gage went to testify in court.  Logan didn't have the
heart to change anything.  He wasn't ready.  He figured that as long as he
left the room the way it was part of Gage would always be there.  He
flashed back to reality.  He knew Gage was never going to use this room
again.  He was never going to sleep in that bed or play with those toys, or
wear those clothes.  He should just give it all away.  That's what he
needed to do, he thought, get rid of everything that reminded him of his
son.  Maybe that was the only way to stop hearing him and seeing him
everywhere he went.  He closed the door.  Tomorrow, he thought.  Maybe
tomorrow he'd be ready.


The End


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